Post by demonik on Apr 15, 2006 3:55:40 GMT -5
Spawn Of Satan (Award, 1970)
Spawn Of Satan, The New Dress, A Right To Know, Child's Play, Wedding Presents, Soeur Celeste, A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts, The Beautiful People, Traces Of Lipstick, Au Clair De Lune.
For my wife, Janet, who turns away her face from such frolics
This one didn't receive UK publication, signaling the end of his extremely prolific comeback save for some excellent contributions to Hugh Lamb's anthologies. It's fitting, then, that the stories that signaled his return - A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts and A Right To Know should be included here. The collection ends with Au Clair De Lune, a macabre poem first published in The 11th Pan Book Of Horror Stories - "will the rats devour Rodney's wicked mistress alive?"
Spawn Of Satan:
"Not that I'd want a coloured man in the family! I mean, dear, who would? They're different from us. Have different standards, hygiene- and the things they eat - I'd not put up with one as a son-in-law! But some of those Teddy Boys, or whatever they call themselves these days, are a sight worse than Nazis."
Venetia Palmer takes up a teaching position in Auldburn and books in at the plush Arbour Hotel, advising the landlady Mrs. Snagge that her husband, a journalist on the local newspaper will be joining her shortly. His name is Lindo, charming, intelligent and - oh dear - black. There has been much racial tension in the area, much of it stirred up by 'Jacko' Persicot and his thugs, and the Palmers soon find themselves subjected to a hate campaign. Not a good time, then, for Venetia to suffer a stroke while driving home one night and mowing down little Neelia on the corner of The Swan and The Gaitered Ploughman ...
Those Teddy Boys, or whatever they call themselves these days, prove that Mrs. Snagge was not being entirely over-dramatic in her assessment of their behaviour, and the ending is a choker. An instant Birkin classic.
A Right To Know: Mark is fascinated by the grand old Cheverly House and asks the current owner, his bride-to-be Amanda, if it is haunted. She obliges him by relating the story of the family curse dating from the sixteenth century when young Phoebe Trebla was gang-raped, gave birth to a deformed son and was finally burnt as a witch on the whim of Sir Tarquin Chane, the third baronet, "as handsome as Byron ... as black-hearted as the Marquis de Sade."
A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts: SS men Dorsch and Fochtmann arrange an amusing diversion for Oberst Albrecht. Five half-dead Jewish prisoners are selected to take part in a competition. A "coconut shy" has been arranged, a row of grotesque dummies decorated to depict enemies of the Reich. Cohn, Blumenthal, Wolf, Mendel and Ullman are told that the four who score the most direct hits to the head of their particular target will be given 'lighter' duties and a better chance to salvage scraps of food for their wives and children. The loser will be returned to the labour camp. Barely able to lift the heavy steel balls, the men take their turns ...
Depending on your viewpoint - and A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts certainly divides opinion - either Birkin's most unforgivable work, or his bravest. It is certainly not a story you're likely to forget.
The Beautiful People: Norfolk, Virginia. Poor little rich boy Ray Dawson, furious that his mother Lynette won't raise his already obscene allowance, storms off for a few days to punish her. When he picks up worldly hitchhiker Pearl he pours out all his troubles ... plus too much information about his mother's vast wealth and his own impending inheritance. Pearl knows some people who can help him get his hands on a down-payment. Unfortunately, these turn out to be her ruthlessly ambitious brother, Trad, and his vaguely psychotic sidekick Pete. They decide to stage a 'kidnapping' ...
Child's Play: Kent. Little Charmain Weiden finds a brightly coloured seed in the garden. And eats it. She falls ill and complains of "caterpillars" crawling up her throat, suffocating her. Is this the beginning of an alien invasion? Weird.
Au Clair De Lune: Grisly poem in which Thelma tries to blackmail Rodney over their affair and is eaten by rats for her sins. Eventually she's reduced to a fungus-ridden compost heap which the hero henceforth utilizes whenever he wishes to be rid of a troublesome woman.
Spawn Of Satan, The New Dress, A Right To Know, Child's Play, Wedding Presents, Soeur Celeste, A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts, The Beautiful People, Traces Of Lipstick, Au Clair De Lune.
For my wife, Janet, who turns away her face from such frolics
This one didn't receive UK publication, signaling the end of his extremely prolific comeback save for some excellent contributions to Hugh Lamb's anthologies. It's fitting, then, that the stories that signaled his return - A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts and A Right To Know should be included here. The collection ends with Au Clair De Lune, a macabre poem first published in The 11th Pan Book Of Horror Stories - "will the rats devour Rodney's wicked mistress alive?"
Spawn Of Satan:
"Not that I'd want a coloured man in the family! I mean, dear, who would? They're different from us. Have different standards, hygiene- and the things they eat - I'd not put up with one as a son-in-law! But some of those Teddy Boys, or whatever they call themselves these days, are a sight worse than Nazis."
Venetia Palmer takes up a teaching position in Auldburn and books in at the plush Arbour Hotel, advising the landlady Mrs. Snagge that her husband, a journalist on the local newspaper will be joining her shortly. His name is Lindo, charming, intelligent and - oh dear - black. There has been much racial tension in the area, much of it stirred up by 'Jacko' Persicot and his thugs, and the Palmers soon find themselves subjected to a hate campaign. Not a good time, then, for Venetia to suffer a stroke while driving home one night and mowing down little Neelia on the corner of The Swan and The Gaitered Ploughman ...
Those Teddy Boys, or whatever they call themselves these days, prove that Mrs. Snagge was not being entirely over-dramatic in her assessment of their behaviour, and the ending is a choker. An instant Birkin classic.
A Right To Know: Mark is fascinated by the grand old Cheverly House and asks the current owner, his bride-to-be Amanda, if it is haunted. She obliges him by relating the story of the family curse dating from the sixteenth century when young Phoebe Trebla was gang-raped, gave birth to a deformed son and was finally burnt as a witch on the whim of Sir Tarquin Chane, the third baronet, "as handsome as Byron ... as black-hearted as the Marquis de Sade."
A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts: SS men Dorsch and Fochtmann arrange an amusing diversion for Oberst Albrecht. Five half-dead Jewish prisoners are selected to take part in a competition. A "coconut shy" has been arranged, a row of grotesque dummies decorated to depict enemies of the Reich. Cohn, Blumenthal, Wolf, Mendel and Ullman are told that the four who score the most direct hits to the head of their particular target will be given 'lighter' duties and a better chance to salvage scraps of food for their wives and children. The loser will be returned to the labour camp. Barely able to lift the heavy steel balls, the men take their turns ...
Depending on your viewpoint - and A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts certainly divides opinion - either Birkin's most unforgivable work, or his bravest. It is certainly not a story you're likely to forget.
The Beautiful People: Norfolk, Virginia. Poor little rich boy Ray Dawson, furious that his mother Lynette won't raise his already obscene allowance, storms off for a few days to punish her. When he picks up worldly hitchhiker Pearl he pours out all his troubles ... plus too much information about his mother's vast wealth and his own impending inheritance. Pearl knows some people who can help him get his hands on a down-payment. Unfortunately, these turn out to be her ruthlessly ambitious brother, Trad, and his vaguely psychotic sidekick Pete. They decide to stage a 'kidnapping' ...
Child's Play: Kent. Little Charmain Weiden finds a brightly coloured seed in the garden. And eats it. She falls ill and complains of "caterpillars" crawling up her throat, suffocating her. Is this the beginning of an alien invasion? Weird.
Au Clair De Lune: Grisly poem in which Thelma tries to blackmail Rodney over their affair and is eaten by rats for her sins. Eventually she's reduced to a fungus-ridden compost heap which the hero henceforth utilizes whenever he wishes to be rid of a troublesome woman.